Fathers Day...

Fathers day was a pretty fabulous day. Aaron and his brothers took their dad out to an early breakfast which was PERFECTLY fine with me. Growing up, we made my dad breakfast every Fathers day. Such a great tradition, but anytime I make breakfast it appears that a tornado hit the kitchen. So, this year, it was nice to have the task of cleaning up a kitchen before Church lifted. The boys put together a poem for a couple of their pictures they made at school this year. I copied the original piece of art and turned it into a print. Under the print was their poem they made up. Here was

Owens gift... Bubblegum, bubblegum you're so Yummy. Bubblegum, bubblegum, you taste like a bunny.

Andrew's gift...

Sunflowers
Bright,
soft,
High to the sky.
Sunflowers

After church, we came home and had a light lunch and the boys went to the pool. Little did we know that we would be at Childrens an hour and a half later having stitches bring together a wound. While at the pool, Aaron accidently whacked Andrew in the mouth with his elbow. Andrew's front tooth came through the inside of his chin through the front. He and I headed over to Childrens and he got 4 stitches. Andrew will remember this when Father's day comes around next year. Aaron may just get a poem instead of some artwork to go with it. > Fishing was fun, but not as much fun if we would have left Elliott behind (sorry buddy). It WAS Father's day, so we COULDN'T leave him behind. He was everywhere, into everything. He was sliding through Goose poop and it didn't phase him a bit. He is my sunshine, but fishing is just not very 2 year old friendly. He sure did love the fishies though.

panic attack park

I had a photography sitting today with my friend Carol and her little ones. Afterward, I met my friend Heidi and her little ones at a new park in town. For me, it is now called "Panic attack park." We were there for about 40 minutes, about 35 minutes too long. You see, just because you make a HUGE giant park, doesn't mean it is going to be more enjoyable. Parents were constantly losing their kids at this park. One little girl bumped her head (she was maybe 3) and she went right into Heidi's arms and just sat there. Her mom never came, because her mom probably didn't know where she was. Some teenage girl came and got her, but I don't really think this little girl knew her. If we were bad strangers, we easily could have taken this girl from that park.

Anyway, as I continued to stay there hoping my experience would get better, I started to feel that "feeling" coming on. The feeling of "Crap, I can't seem to sort out what is happening here. Crap, I feel like my chest is shrinking and I can't seem to get a deep breath. Crap, If I don't get out of here, I am going to lose it." I quickly got my kids together, told my friend that I needed to jet. I got in the car and used my coping skills to get it together. Phew.

So, note to self and to others. If you plan to go to the new park in town, do not invite a friend to come along or do not organize a playgroup to meet there. You will not be able to visit with them because you will be chasing your child around...and they will be chasing their child around. If you are up for the challenge, make sure to take your meds before you go, and finally...Also, bigger is NOT better. lol

working with people

I am learning alot about myself these days. One thing that particularly stands out in my mind is that I don't like working for/with people. Yikes. I am trying to figure it out. Is it that I am so darn independent, is it that I am a control freak, or is it that I just don't like people? I am sure it isn't the last one or I wouldn't have very many friends. That surely isn't the case, because I mean, I have like 300 friends on Face book and Face book is a sure way to tell if someone likes you...just like Junior High, right?

Anyway, I don't ever remember a job in which I was happy working for someone. I mean, since high school, I have worked at the Michigan Speedway, as a daycare worker, as a supervisor for an athletic complex, a deli worker, and a social worker for Head Start. Looking back on the jobs that I had, the only one I really liked was the supervisor position. I think it was because I had more responsibilities and I was actually overseeing other people. (Gosh, this is really hard to type people. It isn't easy revealing short comings as you are thinking and typing).

I worked at the school part time this year as a Parent Consultant. My time was up in May. See, it wasn't that I didn't like working at the school, helping the teachers, connecting with parents, or doing projects. I loved all of that stuff. I mean LOVED. I was just tired of having to fill out a bunch of paperwork for someone (by the way, not actual school admin, but the big wigs in the big offices downtown), having to keep to a set schedule that I never could keep due to sick kids etc, and reporting in to a person that was not understanding about being flexible. I came to the realization that I enjoyed working at the school the last few years without having to report to someone. I did so with a happy heart, on my own time, without pay. That is the way I will go back to doing it next year.

I am not only seeing this characteristic of mine creep up in a working environment, but in day to day projects as well. All I have to say is that I am a firm believer in doing things the right way, and if you aren't going to give it your all...don't do it. I always tell my kids this, hoping that it will sink in. I won't go into much detail about this because I really don't know who my readers are. I would rather do something myself and know it is being done with care. It is just the way that I am wired. I like things to be done with care (I really want to say the "right" way, but that makes me look more like a control freak). So, I guess that does bring me back to the control issue...yes, no, maybe so?

I don't know. I am just rambling at this point. I am curious to know if anybody else struggles with this type of stuff, or am I the only one out there? I think if I don't deal with this issue head on it will snowball into bigger and nastier things.