As many of you know, I come from a very large family. I am the youngest of 8 children. My oldest sister would be 58 tomorrow but her life was cut way too short from cancer. It will be 2 years in December. As we all do, we had a service for her, but I don't feel like it is real. I am not sure why, maybe it is because we lost my sister and mom within a year and a half from each other. Maybe it is because I didn't see my sis
alot, maybe 4-5 times per year. Whatever the reason, I still do not feel like it is real. This week, I have been reflecting on her life, the person she was and what she is remembered by.
Just recently, my dad
layed my sister's ashes to rest above my mom's grave. It was a hard thing for me to think that my dad did this all by himself. I understand why he did what he did and respect his decision. I just cant imagine the process. I know for him (and me), it will be good. We will have a place we can go. One thing I have learned is that each and every person grieves differently. Some people sit and remember. Others like to forget, others just deny. For me, I like to reflect at my mom's grave. I visit my mom's place of rest every time we are in Michigan. Sometimes, I don't feel the need to...but my kids make me stop. When I stop, it is in these times that the memories flow and my heart aches for my mom. It is in these times, I remember the incredible woman she was. I am planning a trip this weekend, I am sure things will be different when I visit the grave.
So, who was this person named Lolly? Well, she wasn't born a "Lolly", but born a Vivian. My grandmother gave her the nickname "Lolly. I believe I didn't even know she had another name until I was about 9 years old. I think the only time I heard someone actually call her Vivian was by her husband. The funny thing is, she never called me by my real name, but always "sis". When I was about 6, I asked her if she knew my real name. Kind of funny.
She was a generous woman, just like my mom. She always had something to offer somebody. If you needed help, she would find a way to help you in some way. As a small child, I would spend the night at her home frequently. Her sons and I were like brothers to me...not nephews. They all were a few years within my age. I loved going over to her house. She would make things very special. At first, I thought she would do these things because I was there, but come to find out, this is how she rolled. She would fill a purse with old makeup, jewelry, junk, pens, and perfume (mind you, all of this stuff was extra special because it was stuff she used and didn't want anymore, basically her junk that was a treasure to me). Her favorite thing to give were trinket boxes with jewelry. For some reason, I still have every piece of jewelry she ever gave to me...in one of her trinket boxes. I go through it every once in a while and can tell you exactly when she gave each piece to me.
The last thing she ever gave to me was a pendant. She gave it to me at the end of my moms burial service. She gave one to each of her sisters promptly after the burial.
Unfortunately, mine was lost somewhere between here and Michigan during that time...but I still remember her thoughtfulness.
Lolly never complained about situations or hard times that rolled her way. I think it was because she was a full bred flower child. Carefree, "it'll all be good if you have love" kind of mindset. This makes me smile. I am not sure how she handled her last few months of her life and the perspective she had on her situation, but I can guess that she didn't focus too much on the negative. When I visited her a few times (I didn't make too many trips up to see her because Elliott was just born when she was first diagnosed) I would have never known she was sick just by talking to her. She didn't want that to be the focus. She wanted to know how Elliott was doing, if he was eating good and if I was doing
ok. That is just the way she was.
She loved lazy days in her garden, sitting by fires. She loves classic rock and roll. She loved and longed for Peace. She loved daisies and long dresses. She loved being a free person. She raised her children to be respectful and loving. She was a fabulous person that cannot be forgotten. She left her mark in her family members, including myself. Happy Birthday sweet sis.
Say cheese! I think this was the only time he smiled the entire time...
Last week, we celebrated little munchkins birthday. We were going to have a party for him, but with everything happening in our lives right now, we decided to make it an intimate party with Grandparents and Andrew's best friend's family. I didn't have time to bake a cake, so the trusty ice cream cake from Dairy Queen saved us! We purchased some decorations from the cake store and created a Yo Gabba Gabba cake! 
For some odd reason, he doesn't like the birthday song sung to him. He liked blowing out the candles and getting the first taste of his yummy cake. 
