My doctors appointment.

Ok, so I was a complete wreck at my o.b. appointment today. For those of you who do not know, I was put on a very low dose of Zoloft while taking care of my mom. I was having anxiety attacks while taking care of her last year and my doctor felt that with everything going on, that this was the best temporary solution. In December, I had decided that it was time to get off of the med. I would have done so sooner, but my doctor advised me to stay on it until the first of the year. Well, that is when we found out we were expecting. So, my o.b. advised me again to stay on it until I reach my third trimester (this is when these types of drugs can have a direct effect on the baby's heart...it isn't common with this anti-depressant, but can with others in the same category). I have been off of the med for 4 weeks now. I didn't start to feel the effects until this week. It seems like I have been very weepy, cranky and frankly...pretty "bitchy".

As I talked to my doctor about how I was feeling, I had the "Ugly Cry" going on...the kind of cry that you try to hold back, but your facial expressions are just hideous if you hold back. So, the best thing to do is LET IT ALL OUT..and that I did.

Of course, the doctor gave me her opinion...stay off the drug. However, she also said...it is ultimately my decision.

So the options are...go back on Zoloft and take the Minuit risk that the baby will develop a heart condition OR stick it out and hope my friends and family will understand what I am going through. I know what my decision is. There is no doubt about it that I am going to put up with my crazy emotions and everyone else will have to as well. There is NO way I am going to risk anything!! I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened.

I ask that you pray for me these last couple months. I guess I am afraid that my kids will be scarred for the rest of their lives because of my crazy emotions right now. I also know that God is still good. I know he will bring me through this hard time.

Thanks for reading.

Feeling sentimental...again

oh my...this house!

So, I am at the stage in my pregnancy ("they" call it nesting) that I want to get rid of EVERYTHING in this house and get ready for the baby. Everywhere I look, I feel clutter and chaos. Last year, I had this feeling and I wasn't even pregnant. I actually wanted to get a small dumpster, park it in the driveway and toss away. Aaron was a bit more rational and we ended up just cleaning out and donated the accumulated crap. Well, the time has come around again. The house is only going to get smaller when Elliott arrives. I already feel a little cramped.



I need a burst of energy, cause once I start...I know I wont stop.




This pregnancy is kicking my booty.

Another Picture done by my Hubby....

How true...

Baby Shower Fun

The boys and I went to Michigan this weekend for a baby shower. I was a little shakey on how I would do being that my mom was not there on this special occasion. On the way there, I really broke down and prayed for strength the rest of the way there (as the air conditioning was on HIGH blowing in my face). It was hard at first, but the love of my family soon overshadowed the sad and "how am I going to get through this" feeling. It was good to see my sisters and my nieces. We didn't have too many boys clothes prior to the shower...now we do. We also got diapers (for going out-we are going to attempt using cloth at home), a baby monitor, blankets, bathing items, gift cards, money and lots of other nice things. Here are a few pictures of the celebration.




My sister Monica put together a baby cake for me. My mom use to make these for every shower. It is filled with many different baby items and comes with a recipe card. It was always a big hit at the showers my mom went to. Monica did a great job. I knew somebody would do this for me.


Sisters...



My sister Nancy made sure to find a Michigan shirt for Elliott...She said that this was a gift to Aaron.


The toilet paper game...How many squares of toilet paper is Judy around?
To make myself feel better I was not 13, but 12 1/2. I wanted to give a prize for the person who made me feel best. It certainly wasn't my sister Darlene who guessed 18! Wowsers! It was fun to see the measurements.

Fire! Fire!

That is what my legs felt like this morning, and this is a sample of what they looked like.....


I thought I would be productive and go out to the garden and do some weeding. I sat on the edge of the flower bed into a pile of red ants. I thought red ants did not exist in the northern states, but from what my doctor told me...they are moving from the south into the north.

Anyway, 10 minutes into my weeding, I felt FIRE and itching and pain in my leg muscles. It was horrible. I had to take a picture because it was so weird looking. I did go to the doctor "just in case" and she gave me some steroid cream that I won't use. I will hold off and wait and see if it gets worse. As a comfort measure, I headed over to the health food store and gobbled up a piece of Pistachio Baklava. MMMMM.. Everything is better now.


It makes for an interesting blog entry though.

A lot of pain this week...

For some of my blogging friends that are on my list. When I started blogging, I was really interested in keeping a journal. Then, it rolled into reconnecting with special people from my past and hearing of their life's journey. It seems that in the past month, I have read and heard of so much heartache and sadness. Even though I haven't kept in contact with some of these friends, my heart goes out to them as if they have been connected with me for years. My prayer this morning to them...

God, I pray that your Holy Spirit falls heavy on the weary today. Help my friends and family see your face and feel your presence in their lives during these hard times. Bring special people into their lives that can encourage them and love on them right now. Heal their breaking hearts. Fall heavy on them and give them peace. You hear their cries of sadness and of their pain. You are the God of Love and of Compassion. Bless my friends and family today and this week. May they see your face and feel your love more than ever.
Amen.

Weekend fun with the family...

On Friday, we spent the day with the entire Crawford clan. It was a good time. I was a little concerned because the temperature was going to reach a high of 95 degrees! The day before, I was outside for about 2 hours and felt really queezy (is that even a word?). Anyway, I was nervous to think what the next day would be like for me. It ended up being a fine day...a little hot, but bearable. We were in the shade for most of the time. Aunt Kim kept the kids cool with some planned water games. It was fun to watch all of the cousins interact with one another. Fortunatly, the cousins never really have spats among themselves and it has become enjoyable to see the kids grow in their relationships with one another. Some of the things we did... The guys took the kids hiking, the women did a little window shopping, met up for lunch, played water games at the park, went to a dairy farm, hit in the batting cages, celebrated a cousin's birthday, ate yummy ice cream. After everybody left and went our own ways, Andrew wanted to drive through downtown and watch people. That was fun too. Oh, we did manage to hit a pizza joint on the way home too. (imagine that...Crawford's and Pizza??? NEVER!) Here are some pics and a video from the day. (video coming later today). The highlight of Aaron's day was watching his pregnant wife in the batting cage. I felt as if I was in a freak show or something. His 2 brothers also stayed to watch me. I just know they were laughing their heiny's off at me. As I watch the video, I guess I can't blame them.

Give me an.... E...L...L....I...O...T...T

Aaron did a photo shoot with preggo me and some shots with the boys. I think he did a great job. I had a couple of ideas floating around in my head for awhile to practice with some of my expectant moms...a perfect opportunity to experiment

Summer Photo Shoot with the boys..

I went to the school park for the boy's Summer photo's. It was a perfect place to photograph and capture the fun of summer. They are getting so big. I never realize how big they are getting until I do their photos. I love Andrew's little freckles and Owen is just a Mr. Hollywood. He kept going over to the car mirror to make sure his hair was just right. Funny guy.
This photo wasn't so easy to get. For some reason, the "together" shots are always the hardest. All I hear is "dont get so close to me", "You stepped on my toe", "Your hair stinks"...you get the idea.

Why in the World would anybody....

name a video this? I think I would have thought twice if it was my responsibility.




I went through our videos today (to get rid of 1/2 of them) and this is what I found. I thought I got rid of it a long time ago. I thought the same thing back when it was given to us. It is about baby chicks.

Mom's memorial garden...

Around the time I knew that my mom was passing, I read about an idea for the funeral that I thought was special. Seed packets. The purpose of the packets is to remember your loved one and reflect on their beautiful lives as the flowers bloom the next year. I ended up with a lot of seeds left over and found them late spring of this year. Since we didn't have anything planted on the side of the house (due to my planting, taking out, planting and taking out problem), I decided to scatter these seed packets on the side of the house. I have been diligent about watering and caring for the tiny seedlings. All of my hard work payed off. Last week, I found my first flower. It just so happened to be a blue "Forget me Not" (how appropriate eh?). Here are some of the other flowers coming out...
Aren't they just beautiful? It is impossible to not think of my mom as I look at these flowers.

Highlights of our week...

SO, earlier on in the week my dad and brother came to visit. We had a nice, relaxing time. We ate out, ordered in, went thrifting, ate some Krispy Kreme, played some Rock Band, (they) pulled out a Holly Shrub in the front yard, and grandpa got lots of snuggles from the boys and the girl kitty cat. Here are some pictures of the couple of days we spent with them.
My dad and Brother at Quaker Steak and Lube A familiar picture...the boys snuggling with Papa .
They try to be rockers.

Also, here are some other exciting happenings fom the week..

I finally found a smaller stud for my nose piercing. I have gone without one for about a year. I know this isn't big news to you, but I found one and it made me happy.

I went to some garage sales this past Friday. Andrew bought a bike with his own money. He was very proud! It was a great learning lesson about saving money instead of spending it as soon as you get it. I think he now realizes that if you save, you can buy bigger things. I think it finally sunk into his head. Our car was COMPLETELY packed and the boys were scrunched in the backseat. We also found a Foosball table for 5 buckaroos. Awesome deals.

*I found quite a few things for the baby too. The find of the day is definitely the stroller and car seat system I found. I purchased it for $25.00. The stroller is shown here. It did come with a carseat too.


The kitty likes it too...


*We bought a basketball hoop from Craigslist. Evan's dad picked it up for us...this is how he pulled up in our driveway. Silly Mr. Slifer.

*I had my maternity shots done. I guess I am one of those photographers that likes my customers to be who they REALLY are in their photos. It was definitely hard to be on the opposite side of the camera. I didn't disclose that I was a photographer until I was becoming unhappy with what I was getting. The photographer taking my pictures didn't want me to smile (HELLO...I AM HAPPY THAT I AM PREGNANT! LET ME SMILE! THAT IS WHO I AM!). So, in the majority of the shots, I have this depressed look on my face. Oh well, I had a couple that I liked. I plan to have Aaron do a re shoot of me being HAPPY in my pictures. You can find one of the images here.
I don't mind this facial expression.

and here...
My favorite. You can't see my face.

and here...
I am not quite sure what I am supposed to be thinking here... Any ideas?

*I am having a get together for Heidi's birthday today (Sunday). I love parties and she deserves to sit back and relax. I am in pretty good standings with the butcher at Giant Eagle. I have learned to become friends with the butchers in the grocery stores. I learned this from my Mom. I was able to get free range, grain fed filet for $5.99 a pound! So, our friends will have a special treat today.

*I am starting to prepare for Owen's Birthday party. He wants a Spongebob party. Go figure. It actually will be a fun party to put together. I am pretty excited because I am finding some really cute accessories and fun ideas. I am finishing the invitations tomorrow. I will post a picture when I am finished. Here is the official Message in the bottle invitation...For those of you who are not familiar with Spongebob, he lives in a pineapple under the sea...that is why the invitation is "sea themed".


Ok, enough about our week in a nutshell. I haven't had time to blog this week, so I needed to play Catch up

Visitors!!

My Dad and Brother are coming to visit! My Dad and Brother are coming to visit! My Dad and Brother are coming to visit! My Dad and Brother are coming to visit! My Dad and Brother are coming to visit!
Can you feel the excitement? This will be his first trip to my house since my mom's passing...a big step.

Things my dad likes when he comes...the resturants and thrift stores because they are HUGE! Oh, the kids too.

4th of July...

Oh yeah...we did do some firework type of stuff on the 4th of July. I emailed some parents from Andrew's school and we got our families together for a little while. We went to the neighborhood fireworks diaplay and had a good time. Here are a few snapshots of the night. Thanks for a fun night friends! It was good to see all of you!

I got my Haircut!

So, I have pondered the thought of getting a new look. My hair has been growing crazy since I have been pregnant. I realized that long hair is NOT for me...especially during the summer months. I teach children's ministry at our church and the room does not have air conditioning. I think that was my final deciding factor last night. I have also noticed that I have had my hair in a pony tail more often than I should. I have always told myself..."if I can't style my hair while it is long, it shouldn't be long". Well, here is the final result.
I think I like it and it does feel so much better!

Photo by Andrews Photography
(no, that is not really an "official" studio, but Andrew sometimes thinks he is a photographer)

Elliott's Room Phase 2

July 4th is usually spent grillin' out and having company over. Well, we had A lot of rain on July 4th. What else is there to do on July 4th when it is raining??? ELLIOTT'S ROOM!!!

We tore out the carpet to bare the beautiful hard wood floors underneath. It always is a little scary tearing up carpet to unveil what has lurked underneath for years. Fortunately, the previous owners didn't "hide" anything with carpet. Our floors have been in almost perfect condition every time we have removed carpet. The guy who installed this carpet was a BIG fan of Staples and really wanted to make sure that padding stayed in place!
Before the removal...Yes, the way I am sitting it looks like I have a tire around my waiste...not sure why it looks like that. Funky.

During the removal (notice the nosey cat...always wanting to know what is going on)

After the removal...

I don't like it Sam I am...I do not like green eggs and ham!

Ahhh...now a hidden video of Owen NOT WANTING TO TRY HIS DINNER! I couldn't resist. Manicotti was on the menu last night. I do have to say, he got really good at blowing bubbles. He diappears about 1 minute into the video...but he isn't gone long. He finally reached his breaking point and decided that sitting at the table wasn't so fun after all.

blah...

That is how I feel today. I think being pregnant in my 30's is completely different than when I was a youngin.

Meet the feline friends of our family...

(I am not running out of things to blog...honest! I just was playing around with my camera last night and the cats were super photogenic). No more posts about cats, I promise.


Meet Pharaoh (aka- Fatso, Freak-oid, Pha-Pha). He is our big boy weighing in at 23 pounds. He is a freak. He only comes out at night and spends the rest of the day under our bed. We have visited the vet for his nervous condition and discovered it would cost an initial $85 a pop for these plug ins for the wall and an additional $35 a month to maintain. I think we are OK living with a freak cat. Pharaoh turned weird after our beloved cat Moses left our family. After the kids are in bed, he is the sweetest cat you would ever know. He does get jealous when the other cats want attention. If Pharaoh and I are having snuggle time and one of the other cats wants in on the action, Pharaoh will look at me and start to grumble and "talk to me"...no joke. It is hilarious. We love him dearly...it is just fun to make fun of him.



Meet Princess (aka-Baby girl). Princess joined our family in September 2007. We thought that since Pharaoh was such a freak, that the kids needed a kitten to cuddle with. We also thought this may help Pharaoh's anxiety problem. It didn't. So now, we had the playful kitten and deadbeat Pharaoh. I felt bad for Princess. All she wanted to do is play with Pharaoh. So, we called the "cat lady" (yes, they REALLY DO EXIST) and asked her for Princess's brother. Princess is petite and little, but her "CAT-itude" is much larger. She rules the house but will never take the spot of the "QUEEN" (that would be me).




Meet Prince (aka Baby boy, Velvet Elvis, Pretty boy). He is the brother of Princess. It is amazing that these two cats came from the same litter. Prince has a coat on him that is the softest you will ever feel. Everybody comments on how soft he is and just loves to snuggle with him because of it. Prince is slowly taking anxiety lessons from Pharaoh. He loves to be in the same room as us, but when you try to catch him, he challenges you to a marathon. When I think of cats like teenagers, I think of Prince as the popular, handsome, athletic jock...with an attitude. He and Princess are like two peas in a pod.