Well, I went to see my dad up in Michigan this week and it was a relaxing time. Aaron had taken 2 says off of work so I can go from Friday until Monday. It gets a little easier going up to Michigan, but in the same way...it gets harder. Easier in the way that I see that my dad is trying his best to make it work. It makes me feel good knowing that every time I go up, he looks better, sounds better, and his outlook is better. As many say, time does heal. I can see it in my dad, I see it in my siblings and I see it in myself.
As for how it gets harder, I don't think I ever cried so much as when I visited my moms final resting place this time. It becomes more real every visit. For months, I felt like I was in a fog and "whistled in the dark' as my dad would say. My mom left the world 8 months ago and it seems like it was just yesterday I was writing her eulogy while sitting at my dad's computer. I have kept busy, not giving myself very much time to reflect and grieve on what really happened to our family this past year.
Since I have been home, I have had several dreams of my mom. I know this is God's way of comforting me for the week. It is always more of an emotional challange after I go up to Michigan. I do know that God loves me and he knows that I have a hard time after I come home. The dreams of my mom were the best dreams anyone could ever imagine. Thanks God. I needed it and you knew it.
2 comments:
Hey Judy, this is a nice blog. I'm glad you are able to express your feelings so well. By doing that, you're helping to heal yourself.
And when you feel like junk, remember it is OK to re-prioritize things, and take care of yourself.
dreams from god are usually the best ones, eh? and crying can be a good thing & healing...i hope you feel better (physically) soon, i'm sure you will! maybe wes & aaron could schedule their vasectomies at the same time! ha ha!
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