a lovely young lady=a lovely old lady.

This is a bit long, so forgive me if you fall asleep and hit your head on the keyboard.



As I walked through the grocery store the other day I was reminded of a saying my hair dresser once said. She has told her the best words of wisdom that her mom ever gave to her before her passing was "If you want to be a lovely old lady, you must be a lovely young lady". I hear people say that when you turn older, you either become sweet or sour. I have met the sweet and ugh...the sour.

The other day, I kept running into this older lady (not really elderly old, but older) at the grocery store. She seemed to be shopping with her 40 something daughter (they looked very much alike). I have to admit...I am not really fond of others listening in on my conversations while I am talking to someone...especially if they are strangers. I try not to do the same to others. Well, unfortunately, this lady and the words that came out her mouth were unavoidable. I tried not to listen, but I just couldn't avoid it. It started in the produce department. I smiled at her, she didn't. I proceeded to the salads and there she was. The comments she made about the lettuce and mushrooms were all negative...they weren't big enough, the expiration was too soon, the color wasn't green enough. She even picked on the poor won ton wrappers (that can't even defend themselves). I guess they were not the right brand for her liking. At that point, I didn't think anything of it. Until....

I met her in the next isle. She complained about the person who didn't move their cart over enough. She complained that the shelf was a bit dusty, she complained about a child crying over a piece of candy...then she complained about the mom (not to her face, but after she walked away). At this point, I knew I was in for a treat for the rest of my shopping experience. I knew I would bump into her in EVERY isle (and I did) and decided that this was going to be a GREAT blog post.

So, after many isles of seeing her and hearing her complaining, we met up in the dairy section. There were actually isles that I intentionally avoided her, but we eventually caught up again. I had not really payed attention to the daughter's reaction to all of this negativity this until then. The look on this daughter's face at this point was that of embarrassment and humiliation. No longer was this lady picking on the food (I guess that wasn't fun enough for her), she was now attacking her poor daughter with her negative comments and stabs. As her daughter reached for yogurt, the crotchety lady said to her "You need to get some new clothes Joyce, those just aren't flattering on you at all". The lady kindly responded to her mother by saying (with an total face of embarrassment) "since I lost my weight, my clothes haven't fit me quite right. I told you, when I am at my goal, then I am going to buy some." Her mother said, "I don't know why you try, you are just going to gain it all back".

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I don't know about you, but my mother would have NEVER said such a hurtful and embarrassing thing to me....ever. In my opinion, A parent is to be an encourager and a friend as their children are older and mature. I think that my relationship with my mom would have taken a completely different direction and I would have had a difficult time showing my mom respect if she treated me this way. I can only imagine what that ADULT mother says to her ADULT daughter behind closed doors. I am glad my mom treated me with respect ~even when we didn't always agree on everything. I am thankful she encouraged me when I needed it. I am happy to call her my friend.

Unfortunately, some do not have this. :(

So, what does all of this rambling mean? I think we all know that crotchety lady in the store that is never happy with anything, whether it is a won ton, or whether it is yogurt. I have found that it isn't fun to be around people who are always negative, and most of the time, those people are lonely people as a result. I feel bad for that lady in a way. Maybe there is a circumstance that caused her to be so negative, maybe she has trust issues, maybe she was always like that. What a plague on her life...the crotchety plague.

As I approach my mid 30's, I ask myself "Am I that lovely young lady that will eventually turn into that Lovely old lady" or "Am I living my young life as a bitter, negative person that will someday be a crotchety old lady that picks on poor little won tons". Tonight, I reflected on the amount of times I complained about something that really didn't matter. I was disappointed. I am on my way to being that lady in the store and I don't like it.

Hmmm. I guess I have a lot of work ahead of me. That lady in the store doesn't know it, but she showed me the person I do not want to be as I age. Thank you lady!