Not sure what to name this post.

Some little 10 month old is protesting sleep. I got about 2 hours total. Add that to an emotionally wacky mom and you get a really interesting combination. As a result of his vaccinations, he has had a low grade fever. He is also cutting 2 teeth and has a runny nose. He woke up at 5:30 this morning ready to start his day. Momma stuck him in the excersaucer and turned on a baby Einstein video. It allowed me to have 27 extra minutes of rest on the couch as he watched. Lovely.

So, I went to the doctor today to talk with her about my recent bout of depression. No, it is not the blues and isn't something new. I am well aware of what it is and first struggled with depression/panic attacks when my mom was diagnosed with Cancer a couple of years back. Same feelings, but on a much larger scale this time around. In the last few months, I have gained much of my baby weight back and my body is doing some really funky things. My doctor suggested that she wanted to do a blood test to rule out any thyroid issues. Thyroid problems DO run in my family and makes complete sense. It could possibly be a simple solution to a big problem. Will keep you posted.

When I got home (Thank you Scott for watching my kids), I was surprised with a sunflower in a pretty pink wrapping.
I was a bit confused at first. My friend Scott was here with the kids and said that some lady came and dropped this flower off and said that she hasn't seen me in about a year or so. Come to find out, it was from my once best friend. We were once inseparable seeing each other about 4 times per week. Our kids were best friends...having known them since Owen was about 4 months old. Once our kids started school, our relationship changed and our schedules clashed. We found other friends through our children's activities and our relationship just fizzled. Unfortunately, our relationship went from sweet to sour. We exchanged a few letters of disappointment over the last 6 months, which I regret. (Who doesn't regret letters through emails)...My advice to you is just don't do it. It never works out.

All in all, this old friend is going through a very difficult time right now. Their family is going through many trials. Just recently, I felt the need to stop acting like a junior higher (with the help of alot of Prayer) and grow up a little. I knew they were hurting and just wanted to let her know that her situation was heavy on my heart. She replied with Grace and Love. She wanted to get together for coffee sometime soon before they leave. I would love to meet her, but just feel like I am a bit fragile right now. She understood, and therefore dropped off a flower to me along with this note.

"I was praying for you this morning and wanted to you know how much your Abba Father loves you. That in this dark time for you , I pray in the love of who you are and that you'll know how precious you are to him. In Isiah 53:3 it says "he was despised and rejected by men, A man of sorrows and familiar with suffering". He knows the despair and sadness you feel right now . I pray you will be comforted knowing he is near you and he knows you and is crying with you wishing you knew who's child you are. When I came to the realization of who's child I am, it helped me keep my eyes focused on my Comforter and my Strength. You are precious dear friend. I miss you. Be blessed"... love, ________

As I ponder this note, I think of the ways that I constantly hurt my Father God...and how he doesn't leave me no matter what. The example of what this friend did in the midst of her own pain was that of Jesus. Even though we exchanged letters that we both regret, she still cares and loves. This relationship gone sour has been eating at my heart for a very long time. I hope this is the beginning of healing for both of us. I am not expecting to be best friends again, but I do know that God can come between 2 people and all of their ugliness and make things pretty.